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10 January 2006 @ 11:04 pm
birthing question  
Hi ladies,
I was just reading an article on C-Sections that included some opinions from women. Alot of these women were appalled that women would have to have c-sections. Some articles with comments that I've read actually say they think that women are selfish for having c-sections and that moms who have c-sections have it easier than moms who go through vaginal delivery? How do all of you feel about that? I am not sure who here has had a vaginal delivery or who has had a c-section, but I am very curious as to what other women think. Because of medical reasons, I had to have a c-section. I could not safely deliver Gabriel vaginally. I had an extra long c-section, which broke my heart. I had always dreamt of my "perfect" delivery..no drugs, no unecessary medical attention, Sarah McLachlan on the cd player *ha ha* but instead found my self doped up with 10+doctors and nurses in the room...Gabriel was delivered to the song "red red wine" by UB40-which amuses me still-I felt very guilty though, about having a c-section. I felt as if I were not a "real" mom because I didn't give birth vaginally. (I don't use the term "naturally") After talking to my mom, who had three vaginal deliveries, she gave me the best piece of advice I could have ever heard...it doesn't matter how a baby comes into this world, as long as baby and mom are safe and healthy...it totally changed my perspective....I heard from numerous people, my best friend included, that I had gone the "easy" route and had a c-section...who ever said a c section was easy? I have a 17 inch scar...they had to put the epidural in 7 times before it would stay...please tell me what is so easy about this? Now, I am not saying that vaginal birth is easy, I know that it is far from it, but I wish women would stop being so harsh to one another about these things, you know? Christ, it's hard enough being a mother without other women judging you!!!!
Current Mood: pensivepensive
Current Music: Sarah McLachlan, softly playing in Gabe's room
A High Functioning Sociopath: do i know you?hollsh on January 11th, 2006 06:12 am (UTC)
Women tend to be each others worst enemies, especially when pregnancy and kids are involved. Hence the reason I made this community.

Personally, I've dealt with the exact same thing. I have two sons delivered by c-section, and the way I look at it, the end result is the same, so why should the process matter? I don't think someone is 'weak' for choosing one way over the other, I think its a matter of personal choise, with emphasis on the word personal.
My name is Lisa and I'm a Mother in Trainingcherryslipz on January 11th, 2006 06:25 am (UTC)
ya but if one really looks at it what women choices to have a c-section??
I don't know of a hospital that lets you pick. Lest from what i know one finds out they HAVE to have one for some medical reason.
A High Functioning Sociopath: cutenesshollsh on January 11th, 2006 01:35 pm (UTC)
I chose to schedule my 2nd c-section at the advice of two of my doctors. Although, Liam never made it that long...
I'm tangled up in our embracewholuvsya on January 11th, 2006 01:19 pm (UTC)
exactly! :-)
My name is Lisa and I'm a Mother in Trainingcherryslipz on January 11th, 2006 06:23 am (UTC)
Not easy at all.
Easier?? Lol I don’t think having a C-section is even close to easy. I would have loved to put up with more then 18 hours of pain and push a baby out on top of it other then having to go under a knife and then spend a good couple weeks not able to move well and be on painkillers. I know how you felt. I cried when I found out I was going to have to have a c-section, I felt like I was not normal are womanly enough to have a baby “Natural” like everyone else seem to be able to. Sure I knew my mom had to have c-section and other women around the world have to have them to sometimes. But at that moment when your told you have to.. Well you don’t think about what everyone else is having to do. I love my baby though so much and would go through it all over again if I had to.

Though I think up here they push c-sections on women because I was only in labor for 18 hours when my doc came in and said that I was only dilated to 5 and that he was not dropping so I was going to have to have a c-section. Well me and my family asked if we could give it another hour and see if I would dilate anymore and I did I got to 6 but then the doc said that his little heart was starting to go into distress so at that point I was not going to chance it.
But after having the c-section they informed me that if I wished to have any other babies in the future that I would have to have them all by c-section because that’s just the way they do it in the hospital up here. If I wish to have my baby natural then I will have to drive 3 hours away to US DAVIS. I’m just hoping that in a good 5 years they change that rule about having all c-sections in the hospital that I live close to.

Just thinking of having to have a c-section again in the future scares me.
I'm tangled up in our embracewholuvsya on January 11th, 2006 01:19 pm (UTC)
Re: Not easy at all.
wow! most hosptials around here encourage vbac's...there is no hard and fast "once a c section always a c section" rule around here. that stinks for you, but like you said, hopefully they'll change their stance on it!
Margaret - Mrs. Lavender if you're nasty ;-pgoodybabe1034 on January 11th, 2006 07:06 am (UTC)
i've never had a c-section.. but i would never have elect to have one. yea, vaginal birth is painful, but i would much rather recover from a vaginal birth than abdominal surgery. the actual birth of the baby is easier with a section, but the pain isn't what makes someone a mother. the mode of how their child came into this world doesn't indicate whether or not someone will be a good parent. i don't think you need to go through "x" amount of hours of pain, plus have your baby emerge from your vagina to be mom.

i in no way look down on anyone who has to have a section for medical reasons. it just isn't worth putting the health of a mother or baby at risk for the perfect vaginal birth. that said, i do get a little aggrivated at people who would just want a section for no reason. my sister-in-law for example.. this is her second baby (first born vaginally) and she's hounding her doctor for a section? why? selfish reasons.. being able to pick the date of the baby's birth.. attention.. etc. that just sickens me.

to all of you c-section mommas.. i don't know HOW you do it. with my daughter i was up and going just fine after i had her.. and with the recent birth of my son my biggest complaint was the cramping for about a week after his birth, but that is to be expected. i tore with both births, but i feel very lucky to have been able to have both of my children vaginally.. not only for the experience, but also the recovery period after. you are very strong ladies.
I'm tangled up in our embracewholuvsya on January 11th, 2006 01:18 pm (UTC)
It makes me sick when women want to have a c section because of selfish reasons. One of Gabriel's therapists told me with her second child, she chose the date of her c section based on her schedule! What? Hello!! It's not like this should be her choice...It made me feel sick when Britney Spears had a c section...and talked about it as if it was just another procedure. What a great message to pass along to children...though that is a whole other rant...ha ha :-)
Margaret - Mrs. Lavender if you're nasty ;-pgoodybabe1034 on January 12th, 2006 08:31 am (UTC)
oh brit is just full of class lately? i only wish my husband was like k.fed. we should all be that lucky. when i grow up, i wanna be just like her.
Araathwenaraathwen on January 11th, 2006 03:24 pm (UTC)
Hey, my opinion is " whatever gets the baby OUT!"..... I've had 5 kids, granted, all were vag, but I am NOT going to begrudge ANY mother who needs or even WANTS to have their kid(s) their way. I don't gave a rats arse if they decide to try and blow it out their NOSE, as long as the baby is healthy and happy, as long as mom is okay with HER choice and is healthy and happy..... Does anything else REALLY matter??
cats_rule on January 11th, 2006 04:05 pm (UTC)
What kind of IDIOT would think that a C-section is easy???
It's major surgery, and one HELL of a lot of healing time. I had a friend who had a C-section 2 weeks before I had my daughter (vaginal). I was up around and bee-bopping the day after I had Charlie and she was STILL moving very carefully because she hadn't healed completely yet.
I had no worries of incision care, or any of that. Only a complete fool would believe that C-section is "easier" than vaginal delivery.
Some people think it's easier because C-sections are usually scheduled, so you know when you're gonna have the kid; HOWEVER, both my kids were scheduled induced labor. Both were vaginal (thank goodness!) and I have to say, vaginal delivery is easier to recover from than C-section.
RavenOnyxravenonyx on January 11th, 2006 07:32 pm (UTC)
All mother recover differently from birthing, whether it's vaginal or sectional, dependant on their circumstances, etc. My pregnancies were scary, hard, and extremely painful and worrisome, but my births were not.

I've had 3 c-sections. The last two were planned, the first was due to fetal distress. I continually stunned nurses with how quickly I was up and about, how much walking I did, etc. The way I looked at it, take a pain pill and then we're off and going about our business. I always had to have my staples removed 2 days afterward as I was knitting together so fast that my skin was growing over the staples.

I've known mothers with extremely easy recoveries from vaginal births. I've known one who had a 3rd degree tear each time, healed badly, and had an absolutely horrid recovery period. Ditto for c-sections - some women have it very easy, as I did; others it's extremely difficult, for example an infected incision.

Each mother is unique, and each birth is unique, no matter how "routine" it's treated. There is no "easy way". A vaginal birth brings hard contractions, the possibility of induction, people reaching into you, the pain of crowning, everything else that goes with it. A c-section involves a HORRIBLE painful needle in your spine, the possibility of not being able to feel yourself respirate, possible vomiting while immobilized, etc.

IMO, neither is "better" then the other.
Toniafreckledphreak on January 11th, 2006 08:37 pm (UTC)
I had a vaginal birth. Two pushes, two stitches. The nurses were chasing me back into bed a few hours later because I was bored.

I don't think having a c-section could be easier then that. No way.

I mean, I know I had an incredibly easy labor, but a c-section would still require more stitches and more recovery time. It would have to.

And I think people should just let other people be, as long as they're not being harmful to themselves are they're children. More tolerant, as it were, but then maybe thats just me.

lilstiney on January 12th, 2006 04:20 am (UTC)
Oy vey.

Somehow I've managed to dodge the c-section bullets, but I actually had an elective c-section. My choice was fueled by a medical reason, but it was certainly not a necessary reason. I have epilepsy, which wouldn't have stopped me from a vaginal delivery unless I had a seizure during labor, in which case they would send me in for a c-section. I chose the elective route because it's far more expensive to have an emergency c-section than it is to have a planned one, and I'm poor. Sue me.

And frankly, c-sections are not easy. If anyone says that to you, just look them in the face and say, "Yeah, the next time you have a c-section you can tell me how 'easy' it is." The recovery is a bitch, and I still have occasional pain and numbness around the incision (3.5 months later).
I'm tangled up in our embracewholuvsya on January 12th, 2006 04:58 am (UTC)
I still have pain after two years of recovery...blah...although you had an "elective" c section, it was for a medical reason...I would do the same if I were in your shoes :-)
cats_rule on January 12th, 2006 04:14 pm (UTC)
I'd have gone with the elective C-section as well, if I'd been in your position. Not only is the elective less expensive, it's also MUCH safer, for you and the baby. You did the smart thing, not the "easy" one.